what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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