I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize