please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
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