We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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