Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize