It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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