I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Im part way to drunk.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
