Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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