420 ftw
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
