I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
