He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
