$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
