Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
