What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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