I love black thongs
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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