Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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