Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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