I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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