you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
