I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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