I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
