I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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