Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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