she woke up with a sticky ear
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize