brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
