We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
