I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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