If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
