Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
