True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
