i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
