Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
