I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
