somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
