literally had 100 drinks last night.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
