I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
where are my eyebrows?
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