This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
