Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
