All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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