sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
