he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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