Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
