is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
