I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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