It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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