I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We're facebook friends in real life
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
