last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
