there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
