i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
