after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize