Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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