I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
