Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
