No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
