OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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