If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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