Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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