Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
