are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
