My liver just broke up with me...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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