At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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